My Lives Purpose
by sweetwonderlnad
Summary: When they first met, it hadn't been love at first sight. Slow and steady, love had snuck up on them, and in the end they both may realise they were always ment for each other. CaptainSwan one-shots
1. My Lives Purpose - Killian

The first time he saw her, she was merely a chess piece, a way for him to play his way to revenge. To fulfill his lives purpose, or what he believed the purpose to be. She'd been beautiful, yes, but at the time his mind was still occupied by another woman. The blond halo he'd come to love was then only a recognition sign of one of the four women we was stranded with. It had not been love at first sight, no.

However, she'd made an impression on him at an early stage. He'd told her once that she was an open book to him, but she'd been the one to read him from the first moment. She'd seen through his lies and gotten the truth out of him. Bested him in the best way.

She'd intrigued him, and as they'd climbed the beanstalk together he would later on admit that's when he'd started to fall in love with her. He hadn't known at the time, too focused on skinning a crocodile and the memory of a woman who died centuries before to see what was happening.

It had taken him longer than he was content with to admit to his own feelings. Not as long as it had taken her, of course, but still far too long for his liking. Their kiss in Neverland had been his first eye-opener; the moment he later on could pinpoint as the one where his adoration for her clouded the memory of Milah. That was the moment he had admitted to himself that he would fight for _her_ being his future, in place of vengeance.

Fallen in love they'd done, eventually, and with a curse to prove it, true love had grown strong between them. He would never forget the dread he'd felt when he found her. After days of searching for her as yet another villain had taken her captive, because she refused to be used against her family, he'd found her pale and lifeless. Too scared of the possibility of failure, he hadn't dared to kiss her at first. Not because he doubted his love for her, but because he'd doubted himself. He'd brought her to her family, hoping they'd do it for him, but it didn't work for them. Later he found out only someone not blood related could wake her, but at the time he thought he'd lost her. As he kissed her goodbye, tears clouding his vision, the blast had emerged and she'd gasped, awaking.

It hadn't taken them long before their engagement were official, only months before being permanently committed. Her face when she walked down the isle, arm resting on her father's and gown smooth and long enough to create a tail after her; that was a memory he'd never tire of. Or her soft smile, and the tears filing in her eyes as he wowed to love her until his last breath and beyond.

_Long ago I went into darkness, no hope of seeing light again, but no intention of it either. That darkness remained, for years to come. And, the years have been many. I have had a longer life than most, for better or worse. I saw my long life as no more than a chance to get the vengeance I so desired. That changed the day the light you bring made its way into my life. I no longer see my expanded lifetime as a curse, or something the universe thrust upon me. I now see it as destiny, universe's plan to make sure I ended up with you. _

When they months later welcomed a son, Liam, his life became impossibly more complete. Two boys, a wife, friends, and a relatively safe life. If only his brother could see him.

Liam grew, Henry grew, new villains passed by, but their life went on. Routine had finally settled in their home by the time Liam was 2, and they kept it going, trying their hardest to make their sons' lives as safe as possible. They kept it, until Emma became pregnant again, just after Liam's fourth birthday. The joy of a new addition to their family was short lived as Emma became sicker by the day. Her strength was leaving her and making her unable to act sheriff by her father's side already in the fourth month, forcing her to spend her days at home. Killian grew more worried as time passed, and his wife's condition didn't improve. The baby was healthy, they checked often enough, but it's mother was worse.

When Emma finally was diagnosed with preeclampsia Killian was almost sick himself with worry. She was committed to the hospital around a month before the baby was due. She put up less resistance than Killian had expected, which made him worry even more. He sat by her side at all times, bringing Liam to the hospital or leaving him with his grandparents to play with Neal.

When their daughter finally arrived, the happiness over his little girl was overwhelming. It had been a tough labor, Emma almost passing out from pain and exhaustion when it finally came to an end. But she did good, and according to the doctor she would be just fine.

Pacing the room with his new daughter in his arms, Henry holding his mother's hand while reading a book, Liam sleeping by her side, and the woman herself drifting further into unconsciousness by the second, he could only smile. His family. Yeah, what if his brother could see him.

The first time he saw her she'd merely been a chess piece, a way for him to fulfill his lives purpose. Never would he have thought he only a few years later would he be standing by the woman's side, sharing children, a life and a name, only to realize _she_ was his lives purpose.

_**Part 2, Emma's perspective, coming soon! **_


	2. My Lives Purpose - Emma

The first time she'd seen him, he'd been nothing but an obstacle, a roadblock in her way of getting home to her son. His handsome features hadn't slipped her notice, no, but her mind had been more set on her son than anything else at the time. Looking back she almost can't believe she couldn't connect the dots and figure out who he was earlier, missing a hand and all.

However, she'd figured him out soon enough. Or, that was her belief at the time. She convinced herself she had him wrapped around her finger, when he in fact was the one to see right through her, making her heed his wishes without him actually having to voice them.

That was probably exactly what made her leave him on the beanstalk. No one had intrigued her in the same way since Neal. No one had left her with a feeling of security and lowered walls, and it frightened her. That was definitely what had made her leave him on that beanstalk. It had not been love at first sight, no.

It had taken her a long time to lower her walls enough to admit to her feelings towards him. She'd been abandoned enough in her life to know the heartache wasn't worth it, so she pushed him away. But no matter how much she resisted him, he always stayed as close as she let him. He never left. She said the kiss in Neverland was nothing but a one time thing, because she felt good at the time. Those were words she later on got to eat up. After the echocave, and as he promised he'd wait, she had started to doubt. Maybe she wasn't destined to remain unloved and unloving.

So eventually, they had fallen in love. He became her rock, despite the larger or minor obstacles that had occurred between them. She hadn't really realized how deeply in love with him she was until she had been taken captive. Been forced to hurt him and everyone else she loved, and been hurt herself when she refused.

Finally, she had been put to an ultimatum; take the sleeping curse or see Killian die. It had been an easy choice, and she'd fallen asleep rather peacefully, the only thing tugging at her heart being the unavoidable pain to come for her family as they eventually would find her. She didn't ever doubt Killian would be able to wake her, but she knew with remorse he'd doubt himself before doing it.

Awaken her he'd done, and then she was proudly showing him off as her true love. It took him barely a week to propose, quietly at home, just the two of them. She had rolled her eyes as her parents had been shining with joy even before she told them, 'cause they already knew – he'd asked them.

A few months later they were married. A wedding day behind them, bringing memories of happiness and words they both kept locked in the most precious rooms resting in their hearts.

_For as long as I can remember, I've lived by the belief that me being on my own, that was just my lot in life. I never believed in fate, or destiny, and why would I? I had nothing to show it to me - Until you. You came in and swept me of my feet. It may not have been love at first sight, but you managed to open my eyes. You challenged me and it changed me for the better in a way it never has before. I vow to be by your side in sickness and in health, through the good and the bad, until death do us part. After all, that's what you have done since we met. _

Only months later they welcomed Liam David to the world. Emma held her son for the first time, and the tears she cried weren't in distress, as they'd been when Henry was born, but instead of utter happiness. Things were different.

Both her boys grew, life settled into routine, and time passed. The life she'd never imagined for herself only years ago was suddenly her normal. By the time Liam was four, things changed once again. Her first son was considering collages when they found out Emma were expecting another child.

The joy that had replaced the initial fear of being a mother again was soon replaced with another fear. She became sick, and the fear about her child's health settled deep. She could see her husband's worry mirror her own, so she tried to stay bright in all her three boys' presence. However, the days became harder and she got visibly weaker. David forced her to stay home and leave the station to him already in month four.

As soon as she was diagnosed with preeclampsia her days were spent by her husband's side inside the walls of their home. She weren't allowed to do anything and it frustrated her immensely. Killian tried in vain to ease her discomforts in every way imaginable, and she loved him beyond words for it.

When Whale finally committed her to the hospital, she was almost relieved. The change of scenery was not ideal, but still a chance of temporary change for them all. It forced Killian to get more fresh air as he took care of their boys in her absence. However, he spent every minute available by her side, leaving Liam with her parents so he could sleep by her side almost every night.

When she finally went into labor she was already exhausted, and when her baby almost fifteen hours later still wasn't born she didn't know if she could do it. Killian was by her side the entire time, holding her and whispering comforting nonsense in her ear.

When Hope finally was born and placed on Emma's chest she was so exhausted she couldn't do other then hold her daughter and cry over the beauty she and Killian had created. Blonde locks already covered their little girl's head, and Emma didn't need her daughter to open her eyes to know they would mirror her girl's father.

When her parents came with the boys for a short visit the tears started again once she caught her mother's gaze. Hope was the first girl to be born into their family since herself, and this time no disasters were in sight.

"Her name is Hope, Snow Hope Jones", she whispered through her tears.

When her parents left her boys stayed by her side. Liam sat by her side gazing down the bundle that was his sister, asking questions every few moments. Henry sat by Emma's bed, content with letting Liam have a little attention after having held his sister.

When Emma started dozing, and Liam had asked all his questions for the moment, Killian took his daughter from his wife's arms to let her rest. Liam curled up by her side, and Henry took hold of her hand when she started drifting of.

Her last sight was of her husband cradling their daughter gently. Her last thought was of how she would never have predicted this the first time she saw him, but oh, how grateful she was that it had turned out the way it had. Things were different, and all cause of him.

_**Fin**_


	3. Homecoming Surprises

_Here's another one-shot that came to me. As I can make more time for writing now, I am planning on turning this into my one-shot collection. Hope you like it! x_

Emma was used to have something to do, always. Sure, whenever a villain came by she cursed them and declared them all to have ruined her quiet moments. However, when no villains had shown up in a long while she grew restless. The petty argues the dwarfs had, or the innocent shoplifting of candy bars the kids did wasn't enough to keep her satisfied.

So, when she was offered a case over in England by her old bail-bonds boss, Killian almost forced her to take it. He would indeed miss her to death, but he also knew it would be good for her. So with his and her remaining family's encouragement she was soon off to England to do what she does best; be a hero.

Her journey was expected to last no longer than a month, but when the case still wasn't closed by then Emma was forced to stay longer. She couldn't leave something she'd started unfinished. One month soon turned into two, two turned into five, and five to seven.

They spoke every day over Skype or phone, but he got more desperate for her homecoming by the day. It was harder being without her than he could have expected, and if he'd known she would be gone so long he would never have let her leave. Okay, that's a lie, but he would have taken a fair better goodbye of her than he did.

As Henry's 15th birthday was closing in, there was still no sign of her returning home. He knew her son missed her almost as much as he did, and it hurt seeing the disappointment on the boy's face when his mother told him she would not be able to make it for his birthday.

When the day finally arrived, they threw a small celebration at Regina's. When they sat around the dining table having had cake and watched Henry open his last presents, he felt Emma's absence more than ever. David had Snow in a tight one-armed embrace, and Regina's hand rested over Robin's. His own arm twitched to hold Emma to his side and tangle his hand in her tresses.

"Oh, Henry, I almost forgot; I have another gift for you", the boy's present mother spoke up and pulled his from his thoughts. "Or, really it is for everyone, I suppose," Regina continued as she led them all to the sofa facing the television. She motioned for them to sit, and reached to retrieve something on a shelf when everyone did. She popped a DVD into the player and sat beside Robin before pressing play.

They all gasped as Emma's form filled the screen. Even though he spoke to her yesterday, the picture of her standing on a green field in her red leather jacket made him miss her even more.

"_Happy birthday, Henry! I can't tell you how much I miss you, or how much I wish to be there with you right now. You're 15, kid! That's insane! Seriously, where did the time go?_ _I'm really sorry this have taken me so long. I really did expect this to only last for the one month, but unfortunately I was very wrong._"

They all stared intently on the screen. Killian felt tears brimming the back of his eyes, but blinked rapidly, refusing them to cloud his sight of her.

"_I really miss you all. I miss your hugs before bed, Henry. And I miss curling up next to you before sleep, Killian. I miss waking up and knowing I can go over and have hot cocoa with you, Mom. And I miss going to work knowing you'll be there with me, Dad. Even though I really enjoy myself here, I am more than ready to return home. _

_But back to you, Henry. For your birthday I decided to bring you something special. So I did. Look behind you._"

As the screen went black everyone spun around, and behind them stood a very much real Emma with a watery grin matching her teary eyes.

Henry darted of the sofa and within seconds he had crashed into his mother's arms. The rest of them also got off the sofa, but stayed behind; giving the birthday boy some time with his mom. Just as Killian had enough and was about to go to her himself, Snow took a step forward and stopped his tracks.

Mother and son parted and Henry took a step back as Snow pulled Emma into a tight embrace. David was not long to wrap his arms around them, cradling Emma's head.

Killian could make out the tears falling down her face, and as soon as her eyes opened her gaze locked with his. She untangled herself from her parent's embrace and darted towards him.

He met her halfway, grunting as she threw herself in his arms in a most un-Emma-way. He couldn't care less as she was finally in his arms. He felt his own tears finally spilling, the feeling of her held close releasing something inside him.

He didn't know how long it took before she pulled back; way too soon by his accord. Instead of pulling away, as his initial thought was, she leaned up and caught his lips instead.

"How?" he whispered against her lips. He'd spoken to her just the previous day. She chuckled and stepped back slightly, still staying in his arms. She leaned her head on his shoulder and looked at the others in the room.

"I finished the case yesterday morning. Booked the first plane back, called Regina to arrange everything and thought I would surprise you."

"Surprised indeed, love." Everyone nodded in agreement.

Emma wrapped her arms around his waist and curled further into his embrace as he felt new tears burning behind his eyelids; she was finally home.

_**Fin**_

_Leave a prompt or a review? _


	4. Entranced Love

Emma Swan was rarely disgusted by love, rather she was always entranced. During her crappy childhood she saw it so rarely that it lit a flicker of light and hope in her chest when it showed. It was always a reminder that not the entire world was cruel. Not everyone had it as bad as her, and maybe someone would someday look at her, or kiss her like their entire life depended on her.

When she was a teenager one of her foster sisters once said that:

"When I have kids, I want to be so in love that our kids are disgusted."

The following years Emma lived by that quote. She wanted to be so in love that people couldn't look at her without disgusted envy. When she met Neal she wasn't shy with affection when they were in public. She built her love for him around the quote that she had held on to for so long. He looked at her with a gaze that was as close to her dream as she thought she could come. She was sure that his gazes at her would make their children disgusted. She thought he was the one.

Of course, she was wrong. Neal left her to her fate, and she was forced to give up the child she so desired to share with him. With her child she also gave up the futuristic vision she had of the child gazing at its parents with a disgusted envy. Who had she been kidding, she couldn't be a mother.

For more than a decade she barely even thought of the quote her foster sister had once imprinted on her, but it always stayed in her subconscious. Even when she found her own parents she sometimes looked away in disgusted envy as soon as they showed public affection. Even if she was more mature and knew that love and life was more than that stupid quote's content, it stubbornly stayed with her.

It wasn't until _him _the stubborn quote started to fade. He became a new start for her. He became a new meaning. Killian Jones became her new dream. She didn't even realize it herself until she stood face to face with a bandit-Regina in a cave in a reality she desperately wanted to escape. She loved him_;_ this time it wasn't a love for a dream, but _him_.

It took some years until they finally settled, but when they did the quote was all but long gone. It wasn't until she stood in her kitchen one day that it came back to her, and she could smile at it and finally let it go.

As a gurgle interrupted their kiss, she drew back from her husbands lips to gaze over at their children. Their youngest waved happily with her hands from her crib, and their sons sat by the table with similar you-just-got-caught smirks. Something squeezed her heart and Killian's arms tightened around her, as if he knew. (He probably did)

She leaned her head on her husbands chest and closed her eyes for the brimming of tears behind her eyelids. No one looked at her with disgusted envy, and she was glad. All she saw in her children's eyes were entrancement and love.

She was right all those years ago; crappy life wasn't for her, there were people's lives who depended on her.

Lives she depended on all the same.

_**FIN**_

_Prompt or review? _


	5. Blanket fort Hideout

_This one is for Adri. I never really talked to her, but followed her for a long time and her posts always brought a smile to my face. She reblogged and posted for happiness and joy, nothing else; and I admire her for that. I never knew her, but her passing moved me deeply. She was a steady presence on my dash, and her absence is striking, especially today._

_At one point, I was breaking contact with two friends, and were at a real low point. One of those days sheriffswan posted the words below. I screenshot it and have had it on my phone since. I look at it sometimes and really cherish the words. I haven't spoken to those two persons since, and my life is better for it. Of course I was the one to make the decisions considering that situation, but I really feel Adri's post helped me somehow._

_**"When friendship dies away, I think the best thing you can do is to think of that person as someone who accompanied you for a part of your life. They helped you, they were here at a certain time and added something to your life. They were not meant to stay for longer than that but celebrate the short moment and let them go. They were on your road to help you at one moment of your life. You will find other friends who will follow you and walk by your side forever. Some friendships die away but that doesn't mean they didn't hugely touched you or have an impact on your life. Cherish that." - sheriffswan** _

_I hope you are happy, Adri. Wherever you are_

* * *

"Well… This should be interesting."

Killian had been out for an hour. An hour of grocery shopping and checking up on the Jolly by the docks. She had been home alone for an hour (well, alone apart from the baby, but he didn't think the infant had much part in this), and their house looked like someone had ransacked it for through and through. The couch was moved, there were pillows on the floor, lamps, food, blankets and other small trinkets spread over the entire room, and his wife in the middle of it all; her tongue slightly out trying to, what it looked like, balance a blanket on a stick.

Killian walked over to the bassinet by the corner of the room, and lifting his daughter into his arms, smiling widely as she gurgled happily and wrapped her tiny fists into his shirt.

"I'm making a fort."

Killian turned at Emma's words, confused. Obviously he knew what a fort was, but what was the meaning of having one in the middle of the living room? And one made of pillows, blankets and furniture at that. Emma seemed tense, though, so he didn't comment, instead observing as she kept on balancing and clamping stuff onto each other.

"Do you want some help with that fort of yours? You see, I have loads of experience building regular forts, so one made of pillows should be no match."

She gave him an amused look whilst she tightened a knot connecting two blankets.

"You had forts on the ocean?"

"I wasn't always on the ocean, love. Two hundred years give you loads of time to explore many different terrains. And trust me, keeping Pan and the lost boys at bay, you sometimes required a real good fort."

She smiled warmly at him; eyes glimmering, and his heart warmed in his chest.

"Okay, handyman. We could really use a mattress. There is one from when we bought Henry a new one, just inside the door to the attic. And blankets, we need more blankets."

With a rumbling chuckle Killian bowed his head mockingly, as if he was following orders, and when she swatted the top of his head with a "hey, you offered" he handed her the baby and kissed her on the cheek before going after that mattress and blankets.

Another hour of building, and they sat inside a cramped fort with blanket walls and mattress floor, close, close to one another. The baby was fast asleep on Killian's chest and there was a computer playing the Princess Bride in Emma's lap. She was tucked tight into his side and he was enjoying the company of his two girls far more than the movie playing in front of them. He knew there was something behind this little impromptu blanket fort-building, but didn't want to press just yet.

Resting his head against Emma's, Killian breathed her in and closed his eyes, dwelling in the moment. With his baby daughter's steady breath against his neck and his wife's scent in his nose, he started to drift.

"It's a year ago today."

His eyes opened and he automatically tightened his arm around her slightly.

"What is?" He tried to remember, what happened a year earlier? It wasn't her becoming the dark one, that was later in the year, as was his deaths. Neither was it finding out they were expecting the little bundle currently on his chest; that was also around another time of the year.

"I haven't seen Elsa in a year today." Realization hit him, but he stayed quiet, offering his silent comfort.

"It just hit me earlier, and I got antsy and just… like…" Her hands were waving at their blaketconstruction in explanation, unable to find the correct words.

"Decided to build a blanket home?" He asked and she chuckled halfheartedly, nodding. He kissed the side of her head and she sighed shakily.

"It's okay to miss a friend, love," he whispered into her hair, like a secret only between the two of them. She leaned into him further and sighed heavily again.

"Yeah," she whispered back. "I miss her."

Their blanket fort remained in their living room for almost another month, with several more nights spent watching movies on the computer. Sometimes it was the three of them, baby on Killian's chest and computer in Emma's lap. Sometimes Henry joined them (the boy was overjoyed when he came home finding the fort, though a little upset over the fact that he wasn't included in its building), and they squeezed together tight and all falling asleep before their movie was over. And, sometimes, when Henry was at Regina's and their little infant were all tucked into bed, it was only the two of them.

Those were the nights Emma enjoyed the very most, their little 'they time'. Usually they didn't even bring the computer or decide on a movie. Usually, the two of them just spread out in the fort; bodys close, hands linked together and silence in the air; whispered and hushed conversations at most. They took comfort in one another and more than once they couldn't bring themselves to get up and go to bed, so they spent the night on the old mattress and woke up with backaches, but contentment.

The fort remained in their living room for almost a month before it was cleaned up and everything put into their respective place. Though, every time a tough anniversary came up or either of them felt down, the other would come home to the chaos of fort-building. (Henry even got to help a couple of times)

It was a safe space and the air in the blanketfort always comforting and understanding. Killian definitely saw the point in building an inside fort of pillows and blankets by then. Their little cocoon of contentment.

* * *

_Leave a review and you'll make my day! xx _


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